Sunday, July 10, 2016

Role Reversal Rocks

Ashley: I was home with Juliana for the first 6 months of her life.  It was hard.  It was busy.  It was exhausting.  After returning to work, I felt like I was running out of steam working, doing daycare runs, doctor appointments, and getting dinner prepared.  Michael left the house at 6:30AM and didn't return until 6PM.  I was working in outside sales and had to be in the field every day.  It was overwhelming.  Juliana started refusing bottles at daycare and I was being called away from work everyday to nurse her.  Once she developed food allergies, there were too many "careless" mistakes at daycare and we could no longer put her life at risk in the care of others at such a young age.  Therefore, we started interviewing nannies.  Talk about expensive.  A good nanny cost $30,000 per year.  Yeah, you read that right.  We could not afford this price tag, we felt so conflicted and scared.  During all of this, Michael was laid off from an Oil and Gas career that was 20 years in the making. It was a huge shock and blow to our family.  He held our insurance, he had the steady career while I bounced around, and we had considered me resigning and him being our sole provider (we were taking steps such as adding me to his bank account).  Funny how life works out.  I realized that I really enjoyed work.  I needed to work to be myself.  BUT, we had to find a new solution for Juliana.  Michael got another job quickly and was miserable.  We were stressed, depressed, and our new marriage (we married one month after his layoff) was on the rocks. So we made a decision.  He would stay home with Juliana and I would find a position with higher earning potential.  Doors were shut so many times, but finally a position I was supposed to take prior to having Juliana opened up again, and I was offered the job.  I get to work from home most days and spend time with my family without feeling like I am running ragged.  Michael does the cooking, cleaning and doctor runs.  I can focus on work while I am at work, and on Juliana every evening.  It is the best balance I could imagine.  The role reversal was difficult for me to accept.  A man is supposed to be the provider of the family.  To this day people say, he will find something when oil comes back.  But honestly, I don't think we want that.  At least not right now.  If I can continue to provide for us, I need his support to focus on my career and reach my goals.  If he is okay with his new job (which is waaaayyy harder than mine), then I don't want him to work outside of the home.  I am the type of person that needs to give 100% of myself to whatever I am doing.  I could not do that when we were both working.  I felt like I gave 50% to every task.  So, if you are like me and considering a "role reversal", GO FOR IT!

2 comments:

  1. We did the same thing!!! Craig got laid off and everything! And I love it too! And I struggled too!

    ReplyDelete
  2. We have to do what's right for our families and our situations and not worry about what anyone thinks. They don't pay our bills or raise our children!

    ReplyDelete

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